How To Turn Your Humanity Off

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Life can make you feel some intense, turbulent emotions: sadness, anger, jealousy, despair, or emotional hurting. Information technology is not always possible (or even a adept thought) to turn off these emotions, since they can help you work through your problems and improve your life.^[1] Notwithstanding, sometimes strong emotions can get in difficult for you to function, and y'all accept to numb yourself temporarily but to get through the mean solar day. To make yourself emotionally numb under such circumstances, you'll need to work at controlling your environs, paying close attention to your emotions, calming yourself physically, and dealing with feet every bit it pops up.

Run across When Should You lot Attempt This? to larn more about when numbing your emotions might be a skillful course of activeness.

1. ane

   Recognize that numbing yourself comes at a cost. Studies show that repressing negative emotions tin can deplete your psychological resources, making information technology more than difficult for you to handle stress and make good decisions. This ways that numbing yourself from emotional pain might hurt your resilience or even your ability to remember events. Only numb yourself if it is truly necessary for you lot to get through your daily life.

   • An effective culling to numbing yourself is to work through your emotional pain by reframing it and focusing on more positive emotions. For case, y'all might want to numb yourself to an embarrassing incident that happened to you at piece of work. However, peradventure you lot tin can endeavour to see that the incident is not humiliating, but rather quite funny. This is usually known as cerebral reappraisal and, while not the same as emotional numbness, can produce a similar desired outcome.^[2]
   • Be enlightened that feelings of total or long-term numbness might exist an indication of mental health disorders such as mail-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)^[3] or clinical depression.^[4] If you feel constantly lost, numb, and hopeless, you lot should run across your medico or therapist every bit presently as possible.

2. 2

   Avoid people , settings, and events you dislike. The easiest way for you to numb your emotional response is to control your surroundings. Make sure that you are not triggering farthermost emotional responses in the first identify.^[v] If you know that certain people, places, and activities bring out the worst in you, effort to stay away from them as much as possible.

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3. 3

   Take control over situations yous dislike. Sometimes you lot have to be around people you dislike or perform tasks you detest. If yous cannot avert the things that cause y'all emotional pain, discover means to have control over them. Practise not view yourself as a helpless victim: find as much agency as you can in the situation. Simply reminding yourself that yous always have a choice tin help y'all get through emotional times relatively unscathed.^[6] For example:

   • If you get stressed out studying for tests the night before the exam, try studying for the exam two nights earlier instead. So you tin relax the dark before the exam.
   • If you hate going to parties because there are too many people, inquire one or two close friends to nourish it with you. Seek them out if you lot need to get abroad from the crowd and have a more individual conversation.

4. four

   Distract yourself . When y'all feel your emotions getting in your way, stop what you are doing immediately and do something else instead. Endeavour to do an activity that will require you to focus all of your mental and emotional attending on information technology. By distracting yourself, you will be able to process your emotions later, when yous are more likely to exist calm and reasonable. But for at present, don't worry nearly processing your emotional state: only change your mood by changing your action. Some good activities include:

   • Playing a video game
   • Watching a picture
   • Engaging in your favorite hobby
   • Going to a concert or comedy show
   • Exercising
   • Counting down from 100 in increments of vii
   • Focusing on finding a color, such as blue, in your surroundings
   • Noticing how your feet experience on the ground

5. 5

   Give yourself technology breaks. Technology can atomic number 82 to more than intense emotions: by remaining plugged in, you lot are exposing yourself to added work stress, life stress, and feelings of helplessness. You tin make yourself calmer and happier instantly by quitting social media sites.^[7] Have control over your emotional life by limiting the amount of time you spend on the cyberspace.^[8] In order to limit your cyberspace use, you can:

   • Cheque email at work only--never at abode
   • Plough your phone off in the evenings
   • Plow off social media notifications
   • Have downwards your social media profiles
   • Accept a break from the cyberspace during weekends

6. half-dozen

   Deed neutral, even if you lot do not experience that fashion. According to the Facial Feedback Hypothesis, you can change your emotional state just by changing your facial expression. In other words: by pretending to experience a certain way, y'all can actually begin feeling that way for real. If you want to be emotionally numb, act emotionally numb. This might be difficult during times of stress, but with some practice it will soon become natural. Stay neutral by:

   • Maintaining a cool, deadpan expression
   • Keeping your lips neutral, in neither a smile nor a pout
   • Speaking in low tones at a low book
   • Remaining terse by keeping your sentences brief and to the point
   • Maintaining eye contact with a calm, blank stare

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1. 1

   Tell yourself that negative emotions are all in your encephalon. Tell yourself that negative emotions are not objective facts: yous are never forced to experience emotional hurting. Recollect that emotional pain comes from your ain listen. This ways that you lot tin can ascension above many negative emotions such every bit fear, anxiety, and anger. When a negative emotion threatens to emerge, simply dismiss information technology with the mantra: "This is only in my mind." This is an essential component of mindfulness.

2. ii

   Rehearse situations that might cause you emotional pain in the time to come. In add-on to armoring yourself against emotional pain you feel in the nowadays, you can besides use mindfulness techniques to prepare yourself for hereafter emotional pain. Retrieve about events in the near future that might cause you distress, such as a stressful examination, a potential fight with your girlfriend, or a difficult task at piece of work. Imagine a at-home, unemotional response to each of these hereafter events, and do overcoming these negative emotions. Soon yous will inure yourself to these strong emotions, and you will exist better equipped to handle yourself calmly.

3. iii

   Pay attention to your emotional country. Every twenty-four hours, perform a few periodic "mental check-ins" to determine your emotional well-being at that specific time. Even when you are not sorry or upset, being mindful of what you are feeling and why will help you understand your instinctive emotional responses to everyday life. Eventually, your mindfulness volition allow you to command your emotional responses more than effectively. When you perform your "mental check-in," ask yourself the post-obit questions:

   • What am I feeling in this moment? Am I feeling a unmarried, overwhelming emotion, or a combination of emotions? But giving your emotions a characterization tin can help you lot view them more objectively.^[nine]
   • Why am I feeling this way? Are my emotions due to internal factors (such as my own fears) or external factors (such as when somebody yells at me)?
   • Do I like the way I am feeling now? Perchance you are feeling joyful or grateful near life and want to foster these emotions. But perhaps you are feeling broken-hearted or nervous and practice non want to feel these emotions in the future.
   • What tin can I exercise to control my feelings in the future? Enquire yourself if you can encourage your positive emotions while discouraging or even dismissing your negative ones. How tin yous construction your life and then that you lot are the one controlling your emotions--not letting your emotions command you lot?

4. 4

   Don't shell yourself up for showing emotions. Sometimes your emotional armor might cleft, and you lot might observe yourself expressing emotions you hoped not to limited. Perchance you cried at work or couldn't hide your distress at school. Tell yourself that this happens to everybody, and endeavour to learn from the experience.^[ten] Some ways to help you forgive yourself include:

   • Focus on your time to come, non the present. Ask yourself whether your current failure has taught you whatever lessons virtually how you will react in the future. Pat yourself on the back for learning from a difficult situation.^[11]
   • Tell yourself that resilience simply comes from failures. Yous cannot be emotionally strong right away: you volition have to do it slowly, over time. Expect at this as one footstep on your journey to controlling your emotions.^[12]
   • Keep things in perspective. Remember that the person who cares the well-nigh about your emotional state is you. Your colleagues, young man students, friends, and family unit members volition presently forget if you had a small-scale outburst. Remember that this is not the end of the world: it is a small blip in your life.^[13]

5. v

   Take time earlier reacting. If something happens to upset you, attempt to remain calm and bare for a few minutes. Breathe deeply and count to ten. In one case you've gotten by the immediate emotional response, you will exist able to respond to the situation calmly and rationally instead of with pure emotion.^[14]

6. 6

   Keep a diary . One great fashion to keep your emotions from taking over your life is to let them spill out . . . on newspaper. Expel your emotions past writing them down in a journal. This will allow you to forget nigh your emotional country and move on with your life.^[15] Studies testify that people who write near their mood changes in journals feel like they have greater control over their emotional states.^[sixteen] Commit to writing in your journal at predetermined points during the twenty-four hours or during those times when you call up yous might be getting emotional.

   • Pay item attending to whether you lot think your emotional reaction is ane that a mentally healthy person would share or whether your reaction is exaggerated somehow.^[17]
   • Be sure to ask yourself whether you have felt this manner in the past. This volition help you discover a pattern in your emotional state.
   • If something upsetting happens to yous, tell yourself that you will but write about it afterward in your diary. This volition help prevent y'all from reacting emotionally in the moment.

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1. 1

   Accept deep breaths. Deep breathing exercises volition help you maintain your calm demeanor. They are too a nifty coping mechanism when you lot feel your emotions ascension to the surface.^[xviii] Exhale in through your nose for five seconds, concur for v seconds, then release through your mouth for five seconds. Repeat as necessary until you lot have regained your sophistication.^[nineteen]

   • You tin can as well inhale for four seconds, hold for iv seconds, exhale for four seconds, and hold for another 4 seconds.^[20]
   • You might also at-home down by visualizing a condom place, like a hammock on a warm, sunny island, or thinking about a pet at dwelling.^[21]

2. 2

   Practice vigorous aerobic action for 30 minutes. Practise tin can assistance distract you from painful emotions and will also allow y'all to exist a calmer, more than rational person. Find your favorite sport, exercise, or physical activity. Whenever y'all feel emotions begin to bubble upwardly, put on your gym shoes and get your center pumping. Soon you will forget about your emotional response.^{[22] [23]} Some first-class physical outlets include:

   • Running or jogging
   • Bicycling
   • Swimming
   • Team sports such as softball or soccer
   • Martial arts
   • Kickboxing
   • Dancing

3. 3

   Avoid substance use. It might exist tempting to use substances in guild to irksome your emotions. Nonetheless, many drugs and alcohol also work to lower your inhibitions, leading y'all to accept emotional reactions of even greater intensity. Even caffeine can trigger a stress reaction.^[24] Continue yourself calm and emotionally neutral by abstaining from drugs, booze, and caffeine.

   • An of import exception to this is if you require psychiatric medication for a mental health disorder. If this is the case, follow your doctor's instructions at all times.

4. 4

   Get a proficient nighttime'south rest. Sleeplessness can brand it hard to handle your emotions neutrally and calmly.^[25] Be certain that you slumber at least 8 hours each night. If you have a hard fourth dimension sleeping, exist sure that y'all:

   • Avert blue light, which is emitted by electronics, for at to the lowest degree three hours earlier bed^[26]
   • Keep your bedroom cool and well-ventilated
   • Have a comfortable mattress
   • Use a white dissonance machine to drown out ambient dissonance
   • Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and heavy meals, especially in the evenings

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1. one

   Maintain a social network. Sometimes feelings of feet or depression might make you want to isolate yourself. Notwithstanding, your social ties are one of the keys to maintaining a good for you emotional balance.^[27] Talk to your friend and family unit members when you begin to feel overwhelmed, and let them assistance you process your emotions. While information technology isn't making yourself emotionally numb per se, you will be able to recover more quickly.

   • The quality of your friendships matters more than the quantity.^[28]

2. 2

   Accept positive action. Sometimes you might get anxious when at that place is a situation that y'all cannot control. Rather than stewing about it, you should attempt to have decisive activeness in guild to improve the situation. Resist the urge to detach: that will only brand you feel more than stressed out for longer.^[29]

   • For example, if y'all are stressed out about an upcoming exam, don't try to forget about information technology. Instead, tell yourself that you will study for 20 minutes a day: that volition help you overcome your anxiety.

3. 3

   Tell yourself that stress is just temporary. It is of import to retrieve that most stressful events volition exist over soon: they practice not last forever. Whether it is a political party you don't want to nourish, an exam you lot don't want to take, or a work project you despise, tell yourself that the stressful state of affairs volition pass. Practise not feel like your whole life is wrapped up in i moment of stress.^{[thirty] [31]}

   • Things like psychotherapy, meditation, regular practice, and regular fourth dimension in the dominicus may help y'all manage your stress ameliorate.^[32]

4. 4

   Take a break. Sometimes y'all are improve equipped to deal with stress after you lot take allowed yourself a brief fourth dimension to recover. If you are beginning to experience completely overwhelmed, spend just 20-thirty minutes taking a walk, talking to a friend, or listening to your favorite album. Return to the stressful situation once you feel calmer and set up to face it caput-on.^[33]

   • Merely changing your environment for equally picayune as 30 minutes can exist helpful. For example, you could go outside.
   • Y'all volition be especially relaxed if you engage in an activeness that involves being social (such as getting a coffee with friends) or being outside (such every bit walking around a lake). These tin be more effective than television at getting you calmed downwards and rejuvenated.^[34]

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1. 1

   Try muting your emotions when you're facing a challenge. Heightened emotions can sometimes get in the way when you're trying to deal with a high-stress state of affairs. For example, if y'all've got to give a big speech or presentation, fearfulness might cloud your ability to remember clearly and execute your delivery. Knowing how to mute that sense of fear can come in handy when you have to overcome challenges at work and schoolhouse.

2. 2

   Put your emotions temporarily aside when y'all have a decision to brand. Emotions have a role to play in conclusion-making, but sometimes it's important to fix them aside and appraise other factors. For case, maybe you feel devastated after a breakup and are tempted to movement to a new metropolis so you don't have to see your ex. If you're able to see beyond the sadness and weigh other factors, you lot might be less likely to drop everything and leave.

3. three

   Numb your emotions when you lot're in a situation you tin can't control. Numbing your emotions can be a useful defense force mechanism. Maybe in that location's a bully at school, or you accept a sibling with whom y'all don't get along. If you're in a situation that's tough to change, you tin protect yourself by temporarily shutting off your feelings to help you lot get through the day.

4. four

   Avoid cutting yourself off from your emotions likewise often. We experience emotions for a reason. They are essential to navigating the earth and, ultimately, surviving with our mental health intact. If you routinely numb your emotions, you lot're cutting yourself off from experiences that your mind needs to experience. Fright, sadness, despair, and other emotions that don't feel good to experience are nevertheless just every bit important as joy and excitement. If you don't let yourself experience lamentable, it'll be harder and harder to experience happy. Rather than numbing your emotions, learn to go in affect with them and employ them to your advantage.

   • Becoming emotionless, or out-of-touch with your emotions, tin can crusade yous to make bad decisions.^[35]

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Add New Question

• Question

  How tin can I exist more than emotionally intelligent?

  

  Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in private practise in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Projection Reciprocity, an international plan at Facebook's Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Bounding main's Safety Team. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with relationship problems, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. In 2016 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk about men and emotions. Dr. Dorsay has a One thousand.A. in Counseling from Santa Clara University and received his doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008.

  

  Licensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker

  Expert Answer

  Try to view your emotions as a second language. Learn more than almost your emotions, recognize that yous might be a little clumsy with them at first, and be patient with yourself. Instead of saying "I don't want to be emotional," set a goal like "I want to exist more than in command of my emotions" or "I want to learn from my emotions."

• Question

  I just want to stop feeling everything. It's likewise overwhelming. When I push everything inside, it merely explodes later, and I may accept harmed myself because of this. What is incorrect with me?

  

  Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Advisor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

  

  Licensed Professional Counselor

  Expert Answer

  Existence on both ends of the emotional spectrum isn't healthy. It would be best for you to see a mental health professional, who tin can help you determine the causes of your emotional turmoil. You may have a possible trauma that has not been dealt with. It'southward likewise a good idea to get a concrete test to eliminate any physical causes for your overwhelming feelings.

• Question

  Is it the best choice to be emotionally numb when you lot're e'er facing emotional bribery?

  

  Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional person Psychology in 2011.

  

  Licensed Professional Counselor

  Adept Answer

  You should only numb your emotions temporarily and for a brusk menses of time. Somewhen, y'all will need to deal with the underlying issues that are causing your unpleasant emotions.

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• Sometimes your social network tin aid you process emotions calmly. At other times, being around people might heighten your emotional state. Practise what y'all think is best for you, and have care of yourself at all times.

• Avoiding your feelings can sometimes lead to further emotional distress. Find good for you ways to process your emotions--if not now, so at a later time.

• Effort to aim for calmness and neutrality over total numbness. Find ways to react calmly in hard situations without completely shutting down your emotions.

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• Emotional numbness can sometimes be a sign of a more serious mental disorder. If you have lost the power to experience happiness, surprise, or pleasure, talk to a doctor most handling options.^[36]

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Article Summary X

To make yourself emotionally numb to help you lot get through extremely trying times, avoid people, places, or things that may trigger you to experience worse. In addition to fugitive triggers, distract yourself with an activity that requires your focus, like playing a video game, going to a concert, exercising, or counting downward from 100 in increments of vii. If you still feel yourself getting upset or worked upward, take deep breaths to become calm. Some other method to help you lot numb your emotions is to get a adept night's sleep. Sleeplessness tin make you lot feel more emotional, so be sure to get at least 8 hours of rest each nighttime to assistance keep your emotions in bank check. To learn how to act neutral to feel more emotionally numb, continue reading!

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